So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
