I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
tell me about the fingering
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