Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
