Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize