FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
