He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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