are you still at the devil's house?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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