i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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