it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
