I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
