Sry I called you an 8
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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