Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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