I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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