Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
