Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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