i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
