his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize