You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
