you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
