dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
