I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
