If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
