after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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