why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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