Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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