tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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