Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
