my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
