Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize