would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
