do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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