Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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