Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
