dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
