Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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