just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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