oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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