very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
