The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Will you blow on my dice?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
