i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
