no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize