Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
