I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
