i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
