Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just pee around me
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
