Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
