So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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