so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
