There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
