So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
