No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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