Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
dude. I can hear the air.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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