i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
