I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
