Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
