he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
