Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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